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A new distinction in Christendom… The Order of the Kryptonite Cross

27 March 2010

Lately, I’ve noticed a theme reoccurring in the public sentiments of some revisionists. For example, can you spot the similarity between this

“I’m thrilled to see increasing numbers of Christians turning away from the entrenched culture-wars polarization of the religious right versus the secular left. As my friend Jim Wallis says, the best way to find common ground is to seek higher ground – and more and more people are leaving the “low ground” of polarization to find the higher holistic, integral mission of Jesus Christ.”   – Brian McLaren 

and this

“Fundamental loyalty to the person of Jesus and a commitment to serious dialogue that respects all stake-holders should prevent the drawing of false battle-lines. The crucial thing is not to buy into polarization.”   – Bp. Tom Briedenthal 

Yeah, there seems to be a urging away from notions of good and evil, towards an amorphous supposition that the only evil is in asserting that there can be no synthesis. As Rodney King once said, “Can’t we all just get along?” Such a devil-may-care Hegelian approach to everything from human life to sexuality to Christology, deserves to be recognized. For too long, we have allowed these pioneers of the Eschaton to go unthanked. 

Accordingly, in the tradition of the apostolic witness of Judas Iscariot, I do hereby create and herald in The Order of the Kryptonite Cross

The OKC (short for, “The Order of the Kryptonite Cross,”) is founded upon a superb idea put forth by the immortal Jack Handy, of Deep Thoughts fame: 

“I wish I had a kryptonite cross. Then I could keep Dracula and Superman away.” 

It’s simple really. Dracula is supposedly evil, and Superman is supposedly good. We must not buy into the polarization of notions of good vs. evil. Therefore, we need to keep both Superman and Dracula away. 

Also, Dracula and Superman are fictitious and somewhat characaturish. The OKC then is for individuals who caricature opposite points of view, rendering either side into fictions  (philosophers call this tactic, ‘Straw-Man argumentation’).  

And finally, as Kryptonite (noun) is fictitious, so is a Kryptonite (adjective) Cross:   A fiction for revisionists whose worldviews are fiction. 

There you have it, folks.  The Order of the Kryptonite Cross

The Coat of Loving Acceptance for the Order of the Kryptonite Cross

A new distinction in Christendom to be bestowed upon revisionists who warrant it, by lil’ ol’ me. 


– Elder

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