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Ohioans: Give us slavery or give us death!

6 November 2009

A debt of hundreds of thousands of dollars begins with a single penny.

A recent poll revealed an overwhelming 53% of some Ohioans, favored nontraditional systems of wealth redistribution.  The non-traditional factor is that instead of the traditional “Robin Hood” method of robbing from the rich, and giving to the poor, the system would operate in the reverse direction, taking dollars from the poor and middle class, and redistributing to the rich. 

Betty Botabridge is owner of an arts supply store in Cincinnati, and claims that she favors the proposed system of redistribution, as she believes it would help the Arts.  Says Betty,

“Some of the time, the distribution occurs in the direction of the poor and the middle class, and when that happens, they are apt to spend their unexpected largess on art supplies and cultural things.” 

Ed Greed, Jr. is president and CEO of Wealth Redistribution Systems, Inc (WeRS), a corporation in said wealth redistribution industry.  Ed was not able to talk to us from his out of state office suite, as he was vacationing with his mistress in the Mexican Riviera.  Ed did however let us talk to his Ohio press secretary, and she had this to say:

“WeRS understands the concern of some that a minority of people (and their families) are adversely affected by the presence of our industry in their neighborhood.  Therefore, in a gesture of goodwill to the community, we are making accommodations for those individuals who we have taken to the cleaners.  In a nutshell – Should you loose your career, house, and marriage to our business, we promise to give you a job as a parking valet (with the same pay as you had before you were let go from your job, provided your last job pays as much as the going rate for parking valets), and your own suite in our luxury hotel, for a modest fee that is deducted from your monthly paycheck, for as long as you work with us.  Granted, that won’t replace your family, but you can probably at least find another wife within our roster of lovely showgirls.  And of course, we will foot the bill for those expensive addiction counseling sessions (provided you counselors on the approved list), and pay off any debts incurred while you had been our customer (again, with exceptions).”

Hey, that doesn’t sound so bad !

And just think – all we had to do was to change our state constitution on an off-election year!  Gee, thanks Columbus !

– Elder  😉

Categories: Casinos, Ohio Politics
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